The Wilderness Experience

Being in a place of wilderness can be lonely and frustrating. However, it is in the time of wilderness that our true character is revealed. I never thought the book of Deuteronomy would speak so clearly to me as I journey through this faze of my life.

Duet 8:2 "Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands." Being in the wilderness is never fun. It is easy to give up and just quit when you are all alone and when everything you love has been stripped from you. But God allows these situations to occur to find out whether or not we would obey him. How much will we completely depend on the Lord to take care of things for us. Even when life is rough, will we remain obedient to the Lord? One area God has called me to be obedient to is to drop my Facebook account. It is only for a season, but I heard him tell me that I needed to deactivate my account. It took me a week, but I finally did. It is not that Facebook is a sin, but for me, God wants me to be totally dependent on him for my support and love.

It talks about being humbled as one reason God brought his people through the wilderness. Although giving up Facebook was an act of obedience from my part, God has brought me to this place of wilderness to humble me. He also took away something from me and that is my ministry. I know he will bring me to a new place to serve, but it is very hard when an area you love serving so much gets taken from you. I have no control over what happened. But I do have control over how I respond. I do have control over how I treat those who have wronged me and hurt me. My test is how am I going to respond and will I obey him.

As I continue to read Deuteronomy, I find my answers. v4 says, "For all these forty years your clothes didn't wear out and your feet didn't blister or swell. Think about it: just as parents disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you for your own good." God took care of their needs by supplying food and water. I know God will take care of my needs. But I have to examine myself and really look at the areas of my life God is refining. I need to look at pride and complaining and grumbling and criticizing and ask God to forgive me for anything of these that are causing me to stumble. He does this to test my character and to see if I will obey him.

Then it continues, v6 "So obey the commands of the Lord your God by walking in his ways and fearing him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land of flowing steams and pools of water, with fountains and springs that gush out in the valleys and hills. It is a land of wheat and barley; of grapevines, fig tress, and pomegranates; of olive oil and honey. "

The Israelites spend 40 years in the wilderness because they were grumbling and complaining. What should have taken them 11 days took 40 years. I don't want to spend 40 years of my life in a place of wilderness. I know I must obey the Lord in what he tells me to do. God is calling me to a place of obedience and I know he will bless me because of it.

In conclusion, when this time comes, I have to remember to thank God for what his is about to do. v11 "That is the time to be careful! Beware that in your plenty you do not forget the lord your God and disobey his commands." As God provides for me and brings me to a place of blessing, I can't forget to thank him and remain obedient to him. Although I am still in the "wilderness" phase of my life, I know he will bring me to a "good land". My job is to be obedient to him and walk in his ways. I know this is only for a season. I want to pass the test and my good character to be seen by God.

Lord forgive me for being prideful, for criticizing others, for complaining and grumbling about my situation. I want to move out of the wilderness into the good land that is ahead. I want to be obedient to you in everything I do. Amen.

Psalm 37:7 Be Still

This wraps up my year long verse. I am glad I have unpacked this passage because I am memorizing the passage and it is easier to memeorize.

Psalm 37:7a "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act."

Now this is the clencher verse for me. I am dealing with a stiuation in my life right now that I am very frustrated about. Unfortuately, I have kind of made a mess out of things. It seems the harder I try to fix it, the worse it gets. God keeps telling me, "Michelle, be still and let me fix this." Over and over he keeps telling me to just be still and wait. It's killing me. I know God is at work. But I am in a place where this is nothing I can do to make it better. Only God can fix it. I need to just wait and be still. But notice it says to be still in the presence of the Lord. So as I wait, I draw close to him and bathe in his presence. He calms me. When my life seems turned upside down, he calms me. As I read his word, he shows me what he is doing in my life, through his scripture. God is good and he will fix things, if I let him. It's hard to be still. Our society is such a fast pace society, we have lost the art of waiting and the reward that comes to those who wait.

Psalm 37:6 your innocence radiate

Psalm 37:6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

I love this verse. King David wrote this in his latter years. Most people know the story (2 Samuel 11) about how he fell in love with Bathsheba as he was watching her bath on her roof top. Now, he was supposed to be in the battle field, but he wasn't. When he saw her, he sent for her to come to him. They he had an affair with her. You see, her husband was fighting the battle. He was an upright soldier who was honest and loyal. While he was fighting King David's battle, the king was with his wife. But then Bathsheba became pregnant. So David called the husband home to sleep with his wife to cover up his sins. But the husband refused to sleep with his wife because he was in battle and wanted to focus on the battle. So then David had him killed to cover up his sin. After the husband was killed, David brought Bathsheba home to be his wife.

I am saying all of this because this verse means a lot more after knowing the story behind it. David loved the Lord and was a man after God's own heart. Although he committed adultery, he didn't realize how bad he messed up until God revealed it to him later by the means of a profit (2 Samuel 12). However, David was so busy trying to cover up his sin, he lost sight of his focus. That is what sin does, it prevents us from truly doing what God wants us to do. But after all that David had been through, he wrote, "He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn." Think about it. If any person knew what it meant to be guilty, David did. When He finally realize how bad he messed up, he was mortified (Psalm 51) and wanted nothing more than to be restored to his Lord. So he knew what it meant to have his innocence given back to him.

The picture is vivid of what that looks like. I think about how beautiful and perfect the sunrises are. There is something about the start of a new day that helps you feel you can move forward and what happened in the past is over and forgotten. God does just that. He creates a new creature to those who are willing to ask forgiveness. He creates a new day for us to start over fresh. I love that. I know for myself, I am thrilled with the fact that God gives me a fresh start and my innocence is fresh as the dawn. I love that. What is hard is that people don't forget and they hold my past against me sometimes. We all make mistakes. God is forgiving and gives us second chances.

Thank you God for giving me a second chance to live the way you intend me to live. Help others to see me the way you see me and help me to see others the way you see them.

Psalms 37:5 Be Committed

Psalms 37:5 Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.

I just realized that I have done Psalms 37 before on this very blog. Wow. God is bringing me back to the same place. I guess just didn't get it the first time. So, here I am in the exact same place. Hopefully, I will learn the lesson God has for me this time around. Ugh. Am I that hard headed that I just don't get it?

Here it says commit everything you do to the Lord. Everything means everything. No mystery here. Whether it be at work, at home, at school, school or with friends, I need to commit everything I do to the Lord. This is one of those phrases that sounds easy in theory, but in reality, is difficult to do. Americans are good at going to church and acting one way, then acting a different way in public. I am sure someone comes to your mind when I say this. But everything means the way you treat people to the what you are doing when no one is watching. I know I can improve in this area, especially when someone wrongs me or hurts me. My problem is that I will say what I think without filtering my words. Am I honoring God in the way I treat others? Am I honoring God at work?

Trust him and he will help you. Right now I am dealing with a situation that is hard for me. I have kind of made a mess out of things and have left wrong impressions on people about who I am. I have tried to fix things, but in the process have made them worse. But God has me in a place where ONLY he can fix things. Only he can make things right. My job is to just wait for him. My job is to trust him. There is a promise here. If I do my part, trust, then God will do his part, help. He will help me, but first I must trust him and let go and just wait for him to act and do what he does best. It is so difficult to wait sometimes. But his promise is so clear.

My Year Verse, Part 1

Psalms 37:3-4
3. Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the Land and prosper.
4. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your hearts desires.

My year's verse is actually a passage and includes Psalms 37:3-7 and 23 - 24. I thought I would break it down verse by verse to really dive into what God wants from me. What does it really mean?

Trust in the Lord. What does it really mean to trust in the Lord? What am I trusting the Lord for? I think it is important to go back and look at verse 1 because there is a contrast here. Verse 1 says, "Don't worry about the wicked or envy those who do wrong." This helps put a perspective on what verse 3 means. In this case, it is talking about finances. The contrast is comparing someone who is wicked who seems to be have all the means they need. I can't help to think of the magazine headlines which flaunt the lifestyle of the famous as being glamorous and something to be desired. But David, the author of this Psalm is saying, don't worry about what others are doing, just trust in the Lord and do what is right, then you will live safely and prosper. Verse 2 talks about how the wicked with fade away. But verse three says that if you trust in the Lord, you will be safe and prosper.

To take this verse a step further. I need to trust in the Lord for all of my needs, including emotional, health, and financial. He is all I need. I do trust God will provide for my family. He has, even in the financial crisis, he provides just what we need. For me, the challenge is trusting the Lord in ALL areas of my life. Completely surrendering everything to him. Now, that is the challenge. Do I trust the Lord in my relationships? Do I trust the Lord in my day to day situations? My part is to do good. To do what God requires of me. At the school I work at, there is a saying, Character is doing good, even when no one is watching. Am I doing my part? If I want God's blessings in my life, I need to do my part, that is to do good even when some one hurts me or wrongs me. What is my reaction going to be? How will I treat the other person? Will I be kind to them?

Take delight in the Lord and he will give you your hearts desires. Once again, we have a two part verse here, my part and God's part. In this case, my part is to delight in the Lord. God's part is he will give you your hearts desires. What does it mean to take delight in the Lord? How do you delight in the Lord? As I read through the other scriptures that also use the would delight, they all make reference to following God's commands, doing what is right.

Psalms 1:2 But they delight in doing everything the Lord wants, day and night they think about his law.
Psalms 111;2 How amazing are the deeds of the Lord! All who delight in him should ponder them.
Psalms 119:47 How I delight in your commands! How I love them!
Psalms 119:70 Their hearts are dull and stupid, but I delight in your law.
Psalms 119:77 Surround me with your tender mercies so I may live, for your law is my delight.
Psalms 119:111 Your decrees are my treasure; they are truly my hearts delight.
Proverbs 23:26 O my son, give me your heart. May your eyes delight in my ways of wisdom.
Isaiah 11:3 He will delight in obeying the Lord.

Well, looking at some of the other verses that talk about taking delight in the Lord makes it very clear that to take delight in the Lord means to obey his word, study his word, know his word. Basically, just spending time in the word. For me, just putting God first in my life and spending time with the Lord. Then He will give you your hearts desires. That is the promise. It reminds me of our own children. Although I would do anything for them. When they want to spend time with me and when they want to obey my commands, then I want to give them what they want, provided it is good for them. But I am more eager to give them their desires when they are doing what is right and when they invest in me.

Choices

I am reading through the study of Experiencing the Heart of Jesus, by Max Lucado. He talks about why there are three crosses. I always knew that three was a number God used often and just excepted it as three was a favorite number of God. But, Max talks about perhaps it is to show how God gives us choices. Two men were hung on two crosses on either side of Jesus. They both did a crime that deserved death. However, one chose to accept God's love and the other chose to reject God's love. He compared this to other situations where people in similar situation's had choices. Another example that I never thought of was comparing Peter to Judas. First of all, how could you even put these two men up side by side? However, they both denied Christ. Not only did Peter deny Christ one time, but three times, just as Jesus predicted he would. Judas denied Christ for 20 pieces of silver. But the story doesn't end there. Judas denied God, then later took his own life. What makes Peter different is that he denied Christ, but when given the opportunity, he made things right before God and later became a very affective minister.

In my own life, I have choices to make on how I handle situations, even when I blow it or make mistakes. My choice is to follow Christ and to serve him. Sometimes, I mess up and make bad choices, but I know I can go back to him and become a better person than I was to begin with.

We Reap What We Sow

Galations 6:7-10.

7. "Don't be misled. Remember that you can't ignore God and get away with it. You always reap what you sow."
It's funny how we make wrong choices, thinking no one will notice. As long as no one sees us, then what will it hurt? I have made some stupid mistakes in my life, thinking no one would know. Sin is sin. Regardless of how and why I made those choices, it is still sin.

8. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful desires will harvest the consequences of decay and death.
Death. My sin certainly did not kill me, but it killed my relationship with God. I definitely have felt the consequence of some of my bad behavior. Thank God, he is a God of mercy and grace.

9 - 10 But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time.
My problem from my past mistakes is that I did get tired of doing what was good. I gave up because of the circumstances that I was dealing with. I did become discouraged and numb. At least I know that I can become what God wants me to become and to choose to do what is good. The good thing about the harvest is that some years are bad ones and some are good ones. When we make bad choices, we reap destruction. But, when we make good choices, we reap blessings. Not to say I am perfect or never sin. But keeping my eyes on God's blessing helps me to make the right choices. Therefore, I reap blessings.