Search My Heart, Oh God

Psalms 139:23-24 says,"Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way."

Well, God brought this scripture into my life today as he was revealing some areas I need to work on. I can be very critical of others. The irony of my own criticism is that I am very sensitive to others criticism of me.

Today, two instances came up where my hurtful words affected others in a negative light. One person, I made a comment to years ago that wasn't meant to be hurtful. Somehow, it came up today in our discussion, but the person had forgotten it was me who said the hurtful words. When I realized the person was talking about a comment I made, I felt so stupid, you know. Why did I have to say that comment? What did it gain by saying.

The second situation came up when a colleague and I were discussing another person who was promoted. She was telling me that she was kind of dissapointed the person got the job because she had heard so much negative things about this person. As she was describing what she heard, I realized it was me who said all these terrible things about this person because I had a conflict with this person and was upset with this person. I was complaining to my friend about what had happened. Today, my words were repeated back to me. Again, the colleague did not remember that I was the one who spoke them. I felt so small...

I am ashamed of my actions in that I should never have had these conversations. As I was driving home, God reminded me of Pslams 139. Why do I have to be so critical of others. Proverbs 21:23 says, "If you keep your mouth shut, you will stay out of trouble." Proverbs 18:20-21 says, "Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person's lips bring satisfaction. Thsoe who love to talk will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life."

God, give me the power to nourish life and not destroy it. Help me to be an encourager, not a discourager. Forgive me for hurting others with my tongue.